Today I would like to talk about the art of not giving a fuck. I always found it baffling when people would loudly and emphatically pronounce “I DON’T GIVE A FUCK WHAT PEOPLE THINK.” If you don’t give a fuck then why are you exerting so much effort and raising your voice. When I walk past a penny on the ground I do so without incident. I don’t give it a second thought and I certainly don’t say aloud “I don’t give a fuck” because it impacts me so little that it doesn’t even warrant a mention. I don’t pick it up, I don’t tell people hey guess what I saw today, a penny on the ground and I didn’t pick it up, because I don’t give a fuck, no, because 0 fucks are given it never gets mentioned, that is truly, not giving a fuck. Today we talk about people not giving a fuck.
So how did this topic come up? Well, I was at an AA meeting yesterday and I noticed that the secretary was looking at her phone for a significant portion of the meeting. And yes, I do give a fuck, it bothered me and I realize this is something I have to get over, it will be easier to fix me than to fix all of the cell phone gazers who secretary meetings.
The thing that bothers me is that one of the virtues of an AA meeting is that it gives us a place to be heard. It is a place where we are all treated as equals and all get our time to share what is on our minds. It is a crucial aspect of our recovery that we get a chance to be heard if we are feeling that need. When I see a person secretarying a meeting and they are on their phone it sends the message that they don’t give a fuck about what you have to say. We have people talking about losing their kids,getting DUI’s, going to prison,losing their jobs,getting depressed and ad infinitum and the secretary just doesn’t give a fuck. This is bothersome. But like I said, I will address the issue internally, and I will learn to accept this because as the cell phone becomes more deeply ingrained in our lives, I believe this is just the beginning of the trend of self-absorbrtion. I will have to get used to this or suffer in my resentment.
Have you ever noticed this weird trend in society where we seem to celebrate qualities such as not giving a fuck? Why is this trait celebrated? Is this a good quality to have? Is it really your goal in life to not give a fuck? We should be like whores and give lots of fucks, in my opinion. We should care what other people think. If everybody thinks you’re an asshole, you should give a fuck because it means you are one. And your life will suffer as a result. If somebody is pouring out their life story at an AA meeting and you are looking at your cell phone you should give a fuck because what this person has to say is very important, important to them and when you see that there are 7 billion people in the world and you are NOT the most important person in it, this is when you start to develop meaningful and life enriching relationships, when you take the time to listen to others and to show them that they have value, then you too will be valued for giving them the gift of being listened to, the gift of feeling important.