Okay I promise this one will start and stay humorous. Just some light hearted slightly off the wall humor. So here it goes.
So I was walking home today thinking about all of the great things I love about my country you know, the good ole us of a the land of the free and the home of the, aw man, butt itch.
Now this wasn’t a regular nice and easy butt itch. No,this was a good old fashion dig right in the butt crack taint scratcher. My lord!! What am I to do? I got 10 minutes left of walking home and I got a taint scratcher of an itch. Now, your standard butt itch you can reach around grab a butt cheek and scratch vigorously for i don’t know, 2 maybe 3 seconds but not this one. No, I wasn’t that lucky. This was a butt cracker. I may live in the land of the free and the home of the brave but I aint that free, or brave for that matter.
I tried to distract myself and take my mind off things as i walked home. Man, i wish i was on vacation. Because if you’re on vacation you just dont really care. If youre 1/2 a mile from home youre not taint scratching in front of the neighbors, oh hell no. But, but, if i were in Italy right now i would scratch that ass. Oh heck yeah i would, i could care less what anybody thinks, ill never see them again.
Well im happy to report that i distracted myself adequately. It was not a completely horrible walk home. I got home, said hi to the dog and scracthed that itch cause the dog dont care he dont judge, dogs lick their own nuts what do they care? finally all was better the itch was scratched. Freedom!!! More accurately buttcrack freedom.