What if Darth Vader came to your AA meeting?

A long time I wrote a blog about learning to have patience and tolerance for those that bother you while at a meeting. I wrote about how ultimately our goal should not be tolerance. Tolerance is when something bothers you but you don’t don’t punch them in the dick. Acceptance is when you are no longer bothered by those persons actions. If at first you are tolerating behavior then you need to strive for acceptance. Nobody is happy living a life where they tolerate stuff but people are very happy when they learn to accept things.

I am proud to say that I am moving really close to acceptance of another annoying person in our meeting. I am  at the point where this persons marginally bothers me and seconds later I am able to move forward and have a good meeting. I will refer to this girl as Darth Vader. Why? Well we all know what today is and I can actually hear this woman breathe from all the way across the room every single time I see her at a meeting. First this used to annoy the shit out of me but I am overcoming the annoyance. At first this girl was darth vader in every single way. I mean, she doesn’t pay attention to other people, she smacks her food like an equine and she sounds like James earl jones at every meeting, just breathing really heavily all the way across the room some 35 feet away and I can always hear her. I ma quickly learning not to put expectations on other people. I am learning to not get upset when people do things differently than I would. I would not be on my cell phone extensively throughout a meeting. I turn my phone off and it never comes on during the meeting. For that hour the meeting is the most important thing in my day. It is exactly what I want to be doing. I get very self conscious about eating noise levels during a meeting. II will eat, it is very common and acceptable at our meeting but if I am smacking and sound like a thoroughbred I will be very aware and stop eating. But not everybody thinks like I do and I accept that. There is a part of me that would just like to be a complete asshole for a day. I think that’s why I am initially bothered. I would like to be Darth Vader for a day. I would like to breathe really fucking loudly, I know, I know, the girl can’t help it, it’s not rude I get it, but nonetheless it is distracting with or without blame to an individual. I would like to eat really loudly and smack my food and just be free to do whatever the fuck I want without being self-conscious and worry about bothering others. Maybe I want to be the guy who is on his cell phone for 40 minutes and then speaks for the last 20 minutes of the meeting. Maybe I would just like to be completely impolite for a day. Maybe I just resent my own discipline a bit. But all in all, I know it’s best to be courteous and I don’t really want to be the on the cell phone for 40 minutes guy or the smack my food so the whole room can hear it guy I just think having a lot of discipline can be taxing. And the freedom that some people have makes me a bit jealous.

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