Stubborn does not equal strong

I’m sure there’s a term for it but have you ever noticed that society has a tendency to market negative qualities as a strength? When I was in my twenties I noticed guys would always latch onto the keyword “bad boy” Now, if a dog is bad he gets whacked with a newspaper and/or scolded. But guys started to catch on that if they were a “bad boy” they would get laid so they held onto that and suddenly getting arrested was chic telling off your boss went on your dating profile and calling women bitches was foreplay. Hell some women would call themselves bitches and it became some modernized version of flirting. And oh yeah, dont whack your dog with a newspaper. And ladies next time some guy is telling you he is a bad boy please please please point your finger at him and in your best “bad dog” voice scold him and say “bad,bad,bad!bad boy!” and walk away. I am a good boy so i am always rooting for the good guys to get the women.

So all of this hilarity brings us to the topic of stubborness vs strength. I have noticed a trend where difficult confrontational stubborn people will turn their maladies into a positive. These people like to refer to themselves as “strong” Now yes there are times when there is systemic levels of oppression and there is inequality going on whether it be gender or racial or classist and the confrontational stubborness like that of Ghandi Dr king or Rosa parks is in fact indicative of strength. But I’m not talking about that I’m talking about your everyday kind of asshole. The person who is always finding a fight about stuff that is just petty in comparison to bigger issues. The person who cant give in and watch the movie that everybody else wants to watch and then uses the shield of “strength” to fall back on. Is that really strength? Lack of flexibility,badgering people into getting your way because you have worn them down with your fits and yelling? I think we often confuse power with strength

At my aa meeting there is a pillar right in the middle of the room. I always tell people I want to be like that pillar. That pillar is strong. You can lean on that pillar,you can spill your coffee on that pillar and you can kick that pillar all you want and that pillar will stand tall. A hurricane is powerful. It forms it goes through coastal areas heavy winds knock trees over houses are lost areas get flooded lives are lost. Oh yes it is powerful it caused things to happen but is it strong? Will it endure or will it diffuse shortly? Soon enough the hurricane is gone and 50 years from now that aa pillar is still standing and it didn’t hurt a soul. It just supported people. Yes, I want to be a pillar strong and supportive.

4 thoughts on “Stubborn does not equal strong

  1. I agree with this. I think sometimes we forget that there are shades of grey. I sometimes fall into this trap – being stubborn over things that don’t matter because I think it looks weak if I don’t say anything. However, it’s all about choosing your battles. Arguing over a movie is avoidable, arguing over a more serious matter is maybe a better use of time.

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