On Saturday I was at the low budget supermarket getting good deals on cardboard textured protein bars that have a nice coating of salty caramel and a bunch of nuts to make you forget about the cardboard texture of the whole bar. You get 31 grams of protein for 99 cents. So I bought a crap load and I bought like 5 different types and brands so I will be keeping an eye out on which ones resemble cardboard and which ones are worth enduring because of the high protein/low calorie count. Anyhow while I was there stocking up on 6 of the exact same lunches as well because the low budget store will only have 1 flavor of lunch for that $2.50 price per box instead of going to the regular supermarket, wait, can a supermarket be regular, by definition is it not always super and not regular? Anyway, while I was shopping I ran into a lady from AA who rounds up people to give their story at AA meetings at a recovery house. She wrangled me up for Sunday at 7pm. Since, I said no last time I knew it was right for me to say yes this time so I did.
Anyhow, per usual,since I usually chair for her once a year I was thinking about how to present my story. I didn’t want to do it and I instinctually thought about ways to get out of it but I went through with it. One of the things I love to talk about in my blog is the art of shutting the hell up at meetings and allowing youngsters to have their time in the sun but she asked me to speak so what kind of asshole speaks at an AA meeting for 15 minutes about the art of not speaking at AA meetings? Wouldn’t make any sense now would it.
So instead one of my main points was about acceptance. When I was younger I was legit mad at God. I was really angry about all of the struggles that I had gone through and seeing that I have 23 minutes left at the library now I won’t get too much into that now as I have done that in my past posts anyway. Basically what it comes down to is that I was mad at God for giving me struggles. I can clearly see now that I wasn’t willing to struggle and I was being completely self centered.What I forgot to realize in my time of struggle is that everybody has a struggle. Mine may be different than yours and yours different than the next guy but we can’t feel like we are getting picked on by God because we struggle. There are no exceptions, we all get our struggles.
What I had to do to right my issues with God was to learn acceptance. I accept that I have particular struggles and although the details of my struggles might be a bit peculiar I am not the only one who deals with the things I deal with. There are tons and tons and tons of people who deal with social anxiety. There are tons and tons and tons of people who deal with Asperger syndrome. I had to learn to grow up and accept my struggles just like everybody else. Struggles are a part of life and the key is in the exact wording I just chose. I will repeat. repeat after me. “Struggles are a part of life. ”
That’s right, a part, not the whole fucking thing. Just a part. If we focus on the problems our problems become bigger if we focus on the solution the solution becomes more clear. And I jacked that last sentence from an AA book just to be transparent. 15 minutes to go. I’m out.