Things Confucius did not say

So I got inspired by you guessed it reading an inspirational quote earlier today. I was inspired to think of things that are attributed to Confucius that I am pretty sure he did not say. Here is 1 he probably did say though, we’ll start here and then have some fun:

What he did say:

Choose a job you love, and you will never have to work a day in your life.

Now we’re going to have fun. I am pretty sure he did not say the following things attributed to him:

Confucius say: Fly which rests on toilet seat gets pissed off.

Man who pushes piano down mineshaft get tone of A flat miner.

Man who sit on tack get point! get point!

Sex is like the army, the closer you are to discharge, the better you feel.

and last but not least

A butler with no teeth is called an in-dentured servant.

Okay we can’t leave on a groaner of a joke here is something else he did say:

The superior man is modest in his speech, but exceeds in his actions.

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