I’m Getting Surly Today

Okay so generally speaking I have to admit that my life is pretty good but you know sometimes you just have to vent. I admit it I have fun taking shots at people from time to time. Sometimes I think I am just too nice and have to let the meanness come out. Today is that day,

Today I am just getting a bit frustrated about the slow progress I am making in getting readers to my blog. I’m not going to bitch and moan about the grind and so forth but I am mentioning this as it set my tone for my crabby attitude.

I was thinking about what works, what draws people in. I have always joked to people that the easiest way to make money is to tell people how to make money. I have noticed a tactic here on wordpress that people use-One way to get readers is to tell people how to get readers. I have no hate for this tactic. You gotta do what you gotta do. This got me thinking about tactics people use to get people to buy things or to watch a youtube video or read an article. This is what I call the I am counting on you to be an @$%hole tactic.

Specifically I refer to this style as Negative marketing. I am sure business majors who know far more about marketing than I do have a nicer name for this but this is really legit. Let us first look at the “you’re not supposed to know this tactic”

How many times have you seen somebody say here are the 10 things the government doesn’t want you to know about (insert topic) here? Do they think I am some rebellious asshole? That I go around doing stuff the government doesn’t want me to do? If they don’t want me to know then maybe I shouldn’t know it. When I see that tactic I say we”ll you’re an asshole and a traitor to your country, sleep well. I think what irks me about it though is that it actually works. They are counting on people to be an asshole who rebels against his government and they oblige.

The next topic is the I’m an asshole please patronize me tactic. I used to live in this city where there was a little taco restaurant named Bad Man Juan’s. I changed the name because I don’t need to give bad people publicity. But anyhow I was kind of hungry and some tacos sounded good and I saw this place and I refused to go in. I will not support bad people. Why the hell would I? Once again you are counting on my being an asshole, you think I want to support bad people. And you know what negative marketing totally works. I can imagine the conversation he had with his wife “Honey, I want to call my restaurant Bad Man Juan’s” Wife: But Juan you are a good man.” Juan:”Nobody would go to a restaurant named Good man Juan’s but every wanna be edgy but really not edgy person out there will go to a place called Bad Man Juan’s.” Wife: “You have a point Juan.

The next type of negative marketing: Let’s make crazy marketable. This one really pisses me off. It’s even worse than spelling shit wrong on purpose to be cool. Appearing uneducated is not cool people. In America we have a pizza chain that markets some of their bread as crazy. If I worked there I would say let’s call it mentally stable bread and they would tell me to go !@#$ myself. “Nobody wants to buy mentally stable bread. They want crazy bread. Mental illness should not be a marketing ploy. There is a fast food chicken place that does the same thing except they use the word crazy  in spanish but basically they are called the crazy chicken because the mentally stable chicken would not sell food. I go to the flea market and the most popular item there is freaking fruit in a large cup. They call it frutos locos and all of a sudden they took something meh like fruit called it crazy and everybody wants it, yet again I say, call it mentally stable and see if that is marketable. What the hell is wrong with the country I live in? It is like this everywhere? Do people spell things wrong on purpose in other countries? Is crazy marketable? Do they tell you don’t watch this video of cops beating up a citizen on the title of their own you tube video? I mean what asshole puts a video up and then tells you not to watch it? If it says don’t watch I extend my middle finger flip off the image on my phone and say alright you don’t want me to watch it I won’t watch it. Way to go genius!

So if I ever get desperate at least I know I have an answer to readership. The title of the post will be the 5 reasons the US government does not want you to read my blog and every rebellious asshole out there will read it. Or I can just put the word crazy in front of my name Crazy Danny’s sobriety blog. Or better yet :Don’t read this blogit will disturb you and people will say to themselves I would like to be disturbed I will read this. What the hell is wrong with people?


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