One of the things I often talk about at meeting level is the importance of finding a God of your own understanding. At my meeting we talk about God more than we actually talk about alcohol. Heck we talk about drugs more than we talk about alcohol at my meeting. Meth,heroin,weed,crack,lsd,pcp all these things come up often at my meeting but alcohol is not actually that high on the list all things considered. I’ve realized for some reason I’ve almost started to create an elephant in the room. I haven’t yet said that I go to AA. We have this whole anonymity thing and one of the traditions specifically states anonymity at the level of press radio and films. But there’s no reason for me not to mention it, I covered my face and I’m using a pseudonym so I might as well say it. Anyhow, today I am going to talk about that old AA stalwart, the doorknob as higher power.
I’ve always been bothered by people who suggest or people who actually go through with the idea of choosing a doorknob as their higher power. I’ve always been bothered by insincerity and it doesn’t seem like you’re on the right track if you start off in a place where you’re making a joke of your higher power. Like I always say honesty is a real key to your sobriety and not being able to admit you believe in a God is a pretty vital thing to admit. This whole doorknob as higher power thing also just reeks of loopholism. I’ve known way too many people who will always find the loophole around things. To me it’s as if you claim the doorknob as higher power you can say “well, they told me to find a higher power they didn’t say it had to make sense. ” Loopholism is such an alcoholic thing to do and continuing to feed that trend isn’t progress it’s reverting back to your old ways.
Think about step two for a second. Came to believe that a power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity. If you believe the doorknob is actually going to restore you to sanity you’re a fucking idiot, plain and simple. And if you’re looking for that loophole you are not going to find it because a doorknob is not a power greater than yourself. This higher power is so vital because he will guide you through the rest of your journey. You are going to learn to depend on the guidance of a superior being, a superior morality, one with superior wisdom from here on out. You really need to take this seriously and figure out just exactly what it is that you will be depending on. This is worth struggling over. You can’t just gloss over this and say this is tough. It’s not like a test in school where if you struggle with a question you get to move on to the next question because all questions are worth 1 point. Consider step one worth 50 points step two worth 40 and the rest worth 1 point each. You better get step one right or you fail automatically. And you have to realize on step two that with you steering the ship you landed yourself right in the muddy waters and you don’t get out without a new captain.