Sayings that need to go away

Happy Monday everybody!!! Sometimes I think people just say cliches because they sound good. They have a nice ring to it and it makes them sound wise but to me some of these just make you sound like either a jerk others are just pointless. Here are some cliches which I think just need to go.

  1. Who said Life is Fair? The next time something unfortunate happens and your friend says to you “Who said life was fair?” You tell them I did.
  2. Life is short. No mini me is short. If life was short we wouldn’t get grey hairs.
  3. Everything happens for a reason. Okay so next time you are watching the news and they talk about a woman being raped and murdered by some serial killer turn to the person next to you and say “everything happens for a reason.” It will make you sound like a complete asshole. Sometimes the reason is a really messed up reason like the person is completely twisted. This is not comforting.
  4. Everybody is beautiful in their own way. Some people are ugly. It’s not a big deal.
  5. You never know. I am not an idiot, sometimes I do know.
  6. We’re only human. Is there a more evolved species we should be envious of?
  7. Life sucks and then you die! No, you suck, go die.
  8. If you love somebody set them free. No, marry them.
  9. I’m free as a bird. I went to the pet store. They are not free.
  10. When life gives you lemons make lemonade. You need water and sugar also.
  11. You only live once. Some ungrateful asshole wanted to live more than once?
  12. It takes two to tango. No, you can self tango. I looked it up.
  13. She has such a pretty face. If there is a fat hater they won’t say a heavy girl is pretty they will say she has such a pretty face. Just say she is pretty.
  14. You can’t take it with you. Poor people this about rich people because they secretly wish they were rich.
  15. I like you as “just a friend”. Is being somebody’s friend that insignificant that it merits the word “just”. Do you think that low of your friends? I would like somebody to say “this is just my girlfriend, in 6 months we will hate each other but my friends we’ll be cool with each for years.”
  16. Friends with benefits. Don’t all friends have benefits? Hello this is my friend and he benefits me in no way shape or form but I still enjoy his company.
  17. Don’t cry over spilt milk. Spilt milk is a big idea. You can get mad over it. Can I walk into your house open a gallon of milk and just dump it on your floor? Would you be cool with this. No you wouldn’t.
  18. A penny for your thoughts. I’m not a thought whore.
  19. Beauty is only skin deep. Let’s face it only people who hook up with ugly people say this.
  20. Only God can judge me. No, trust me I can and will judge you.

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