Thank you Friday

Today is thank you Friday. Today’s assignment if you choose to accept is write some humorous quips about what you are thankful for

Okay here goes:

I am thankful for Top Ramen for giving me an easy way out when I can’t think of what to eat.

I am thankful that I never have to watch Left behind again-second worst movie I have ever seen

I am thankful I never have to watch First Mow again. Worst movie ever made.

First mow was one of those 14 minute presentations on the local public access channel. If you submit the movie they are morally obligated to show it. Regardless of entertainment value. I am not kidding when I say this is what happens. Some guy films the mowing of a huge lawn somewhere on a farm in Michigan. This is a documentary. You watch the riding lawn mower go way to the other side of the lawn like hundreds of yards away. You never get a close up until the guy on the lawn mower comes back a couple of minutes later and the highlight is when the lawn mower zooms past the camera at 4 miles per hour. No dialogue, no close ups of gleeful reactions from the driver no crazy machete wielding mad man. Nothing. Worst movie ever and I watched all 14 minutes. So if anybody ever says Gigli is the worst movie ever it’s attention seeking hyperbole because First Mow is the undisputed worst movie to ever be televised or shown in a theater.

I am thankful for great culinary inventions such as the donut. Somebody swindled somebody when they convinced us to buy Kale in droves. Farmers are winning.

I am thankful to realize that harvey weinstein the pervert and harvey from TMZ are not the same guy.  I honestly thought they were.

I am grateful that I saw Jenifer Lawrence’s Beaver. It is a great movie starring Mel Gibson anton yelchin Jodie Foster and her. Very underrated movie. At this time everybody hated Mel gibson and he really deserved an oscar nomination for his role. But saying derrogatory things about jewish people when studios are run by people named weinstein  metro goldwynn meyer golam and globus is not such a good idea.

I am glad they renamed The Foreigner from it’s original title The Chinaman- good movie but the title would have been problematic


I am thankful for Anthony Weiner- I mean so many good jokes we can come up with a name like that. A politician named Weiner how awesome is that?

I am thankful for Hot dogs though. They are my favorite go to movie food. My local movie theater has the best hot dogs in town.

I am thankful that my dog stole two meatballs from my fiance’s bowl last night. That was kind of funny. He had to go to such lengths to get it. he had to climb up on the chair then lean all the way over to the stand risk falling and stretch his had way over just to get those two meatballs. Then when he got caught he got knew he was busted. I mean he had that dog shame face and then after he got chewed out he was like hey the meatball is still here and proceeded to eat it.

I am thankful that I really crack myself up. If nobody else gets my humor well at least I do. Speaking of good humor and not the ice cream I recommend a little gem called the Invention of Lying with Ricky Gervais. Must underrated comedy I have ever seen.

I am thankful that my dad always tells people the story of how when I was 9 my dad would tell me to take out the trash and I would ask for 5 bucks so I could take it to a movie. Yes, movies were that cheap back in the day. He would also tell me to rake the lawn and I would say what about Pillage?

Well that’s all for now and on the serious side thank God for all of the good in your life, the good situations,the good things and most of all the good people.




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